Open When Gone

What would I leave my family

This is the mark of perfection of character— to spend each day as if it were your last, without frenzy, laziness, or any pretending.

- Marcus Aurelius

Reflecting

Always plan to make it home.  But if there’s some reasonable chance of not, then stick a note in your locker for your family.  Don’t let your wife approach the eulogy with your last words being a semi-accusatory text that we’re out of coffee.  And don’t try to blurt it out at the last moment, trying to make sure your kids know about heel hooks and compound interest when you’re bleeding out.  No need to keep it a secret; here’s what I’d say.

What was it like to come to this moment?  Three things changed.

1. No arguing with assholes.  I just dropped any care for people who wanted to fuss about stuff, especially those who seemed to like it or wrap their identity in it.  Detach. 

2. Small things seem small, my lesser priorities evaporated. 

3. Say the things you should say.  Don’t wait for the perfect moment or assume the right person will speak up.  If it matters, shoot your shot and do it now. 

They weren’t decisions or conscious thoughts; they just became manifest.  And we’re all in this moment.  It feels real when you have some odds of being close to the end, but we’re always close to the end. Here’s what actually matters:

• I love you.  I am proud of you.  Remember whatever serves you but make your own way. 

• Train hard, eat clean, sleep/rest/restore/recover/reconnect with nature.  Let yourself heal.  Physical health solves most mental health issues.

• Save your money.  Don’t spend a penny to show off.  Compound.  Let your money outwork you for decade after decade and generation after generation.

• Be selective.  Almost always say no.  With your time, energy, resources: commit to the few worthy people and ideas.  Pass on close calls.  Make reversible mistakes.

• Redirect energy you use for judging to observing.  Become a better observer.  Judge later or never, but take in more first and you’ll make better judgements.

• Redirect energy you use for regretting the past or worrying about the future to making this moment its best.  It is all that matters and all that you can control. 

• Abandon your ego.  Let go of yourself.  Don’t ruminate with any self-talk you wouldn’t say to a friend.  If you find a problem, just fix it or don’t worry about it. 

• Live free.  Don’t dwell on what I’d think – this world is for the living.  Take or leave the above and what came before it.  Let it serve your wants and needs. 

• Also: we’re out of coffee, here’s a minute on the heel hook, and compounding isn’t magic, it just takes sensible asset allocation and time.   

• You each have my admiration; crab walk kick battle for the inheritance (starts when you get to this sentence; submission only). Go.

Training

This morning’s white board —

5 Rounds:

• 12 handstand push-ups

• 15 toes to bar

• 18 DBall Squats 100 lbs.

Then home for 18 rounds of golf on the C2:

h/t Jason Marshall

If you haven’t tried it, try it.  If you don’t have a C2, get one today.  If you had only one piece of gear, it should be this. 

I wrapped up a ten week intensive boxing effort and am taking my boxing coach to a charity fight night next weekend.  If you’re in the area, definitely come, support a great cause, see some fights, and stop by North 2 Row: A Seat: 1 to say “hi”. 

I signed up to be a Rat Race test pilot so will be trying out new routes for an adventure race company.  Which ones should I do first?  Check out these events and comment with any advice, especially if you have local knowledge of any of the areas.

Also signed up for trying out an hour in a sensory deprivation float tank.  Results TBD.

Fueling

Wild caught salmon is one of my staples, but trout is another great fish that I try to have at least weekly.  Hudson Milk + Market offers terrific Steelhead fillets, hot smoked trout, and smoked lox.

Aging is mostly increased excess body fat:

h/t P. D. Mangan

Supplementing

Now that got my eyes fixed, I can see what an old man I’ve become (and without glasses, easier to notice crow’s feet and baggy eyes.  Never really did much for my skin, but trying retinol for wrinkles.

Measuring

20/20.  Perfect vision coming out of eye surgery.  In fact, slightly better than it was with glasses. 

Recovering

Everyone should become a jiu jitsu player, but you have to scrub up after.  Defense soap is made for it with products designed for grapplers including wipes, hand and face soap, and a pre-fight barrier foam that protects your skin before it makes contact with your opponent and the mat.  Be a savage when it comes to competing but a gentleman when it comes to hygiene.  No one wants to roll with a filthy animal.     

Closing

I would much rather have a kid with nine fingers than a resourceless kid.

- MacKenzie Bezos

Dangerous toys & memorization tricks

My long-suffering wife keeps our kids as safe as possible and as far away as possible from the line.  I… go right to the line.  After several sunrise hill repeats with my youngest kid, he asked me if instead of going around the rocky face we could just go up it.  I of course said yes.  Half way up he turned to me with the biggest smile on his face and said, “Dad, if we fall, we’d die!”.  I looked down and replied then we better not fall.  That’s what dads are for.  In that spirit, dangerous toys:

• H & B Forge Boy's Hawk.  The ideal target is a large wood crosscut.  The side of stacked firewood works, too. 

• Logger Hamboard.  Like a skateboard the size of a paddleboard with great Mainey graphics on the bottom.

• Tree tent.  Camping but in a tree.  Comically, for liability reasons they say to not set it high up but then they offer long ladders to access it. 

• Hammerhead Pro sled.  Details here.

• Pugil sticks.  I gave them real ones when they got a bit older, but these are good to start. 

• Knife.  All folders are compromises.  A kid should have a fixed blade, but this is a relatively safe one to start with as it doesn’t have a tip.  You can get cut with a blade and a knife is always loaded, but probably won’t die with a dull tip.

• Rifle. Crickett youth blued barrel walnut stock bolt action single shot .22 cal.  Load with .22 quiets.  Zero recoil, quiet, and the best first rifle before they’re big enough to graduate to a 10/22. 

My long-suffering wife put her quite small foot down about 1) motorcycles and 2) wingsuits both of which I characterize as an ongoing dialog.  In both cases I trotted out “you never let me do anything” which isn’t technically true; she replied that she already has an actual teenage daughter and doesn’t need two.  Yikes. 

Kids don’t memorize as much as we used to, yet memorization tricks are some of the most useful things you can pick up in school.  So I launched the Kipling Project, a memorization challenge that works like this.  Memorize any of the following.  Recite it to me in person and I pay any of my kids (may open this up to nieces and nephews too) $100.  I’m starting with the following list but accept nominations (comment below) for expansion. 

I’ve noticed the recent trend of modern progressives rewriting the works of dead authors with their modern sensibilities.  In reaction, I’ve been collecting physical copies that can’t be retroactively censored.  But I also want to imprint their works on our memories.  There will be more but the first half dozen memorization challenges:

• Gunga Din

• The Charge of the Light Brigade

• The St. Crispin’s Day speech from Henry V

• Invictus

• Rogers' Rangers Standing Orders

• Sgt. Frick’s Rules for a Gunfight