Good.

It means you’re still alive.

If you can say the word “good,” then guess what?  It means you’re still alive.  It means you’re still breathing and if you’re still breathing, that means you’ve still got some fight left in you.  So get up, dust off, reload, recalibrate, re-engage – and go out on the attack.

- Jocko Willink

Reflecting

It’s good to be alive and to still have some fight left.  One of the most common reactions I get to big mountain expeditions is “you must have a death wish”.  I do not.  I have a consequences wish and mountains are consequential.  I’ve been listening recently to Michael Easter, author of The Comfort Crisis: Embrace Discomfort to Reclaim Your Wild, Happy, Healthy Self, on how much first world modernity has made everything comfortable, but made us sick, overfed, and depressed in the process.

I want to explore the edge of whatever discomfort – and risk – I can tolerate.  So many of my happiest memories involve being deprived of some combination of sleep, warmth, calories, or safety but with people I admire doing consequential things that matter (at least to me).  I like getting close to the edge of what I can handle then surviving, seeing that the edge wasn’t that bad, maybe even kinda fun.  Most things that seem dramatically risky really aren’t with a bit of careful preparation, relevant skill, and calm energy. 

I’ve been coming from mountain to mountain and sometimes you feel like you’re fucked but when you say you’re actually fucked, you’re only like, what, 45% fucked.

- Nims Purja

Training

This morning’s white board was

6 Rounds

• 200 meter with a heavy sandbag

• 8 handstand push ups

• 4 Power Clean 185 pounds

Then meeting with the trainer this afternoon for a back workout. 

Fueling

A reader asked how I fuel my body during long runs.  Answer: my long-suffering wife makes me a big plate of eggs and black coffee with a scoop of whey before runs, even early morning ones.  I bring my half gallon jug of water with me and drink much of it before I start.  I run with a Salomon Sense Pro 10 hydration vest.  One flask gets water and the other gets Bucked Up Energy.  In the side pouch I also carry cherry juice concentrate.  Then monster mash when I get home.  If you have a favorite protein-dense recipe, please leave it in the comments below.

TL; DR: eat more protein. 

Supplementing

I’m quite happy with and committed to staying on enclomiphene citrate as my hormone optimizing supplement as long as it is readily available from compounding pharmacies.  However, it has been getting some (absurd) pushback from the FDA.  Plan B:  if it ever becomes unavailable and my supply runs out, my backup plan is oxandrolone.  This is a rather ridiculous situation that the FDA could drive weightlifters from a benign supplement with limited side-effects to a far more impactful one.  But the FDA doesn’t really care about performance optimization.  It would be fun to show up to the next advisory committee meeting with a pullup bar.  “Okay, cool that you’re into health.  We’re each going to knock out 100 pullups then continue the meeting with everyone who finishes”. 

TL; DR: optimize testosterone, ideally your body’s natural production. 

Recovering

I’m experimenting with adding this tryptophan to my bedtime routine.  It adds very vivid, almost constant dreams.  Not sure yet whether I feel more rested when I awake, but it is definitely doing something.  Worth trying but no solid conclusion yet. 

TL; DR: just get some rest.

Planning

Running tomorrow:

Then CrossFit then training with a new MMA coach. 

Closing

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